3 ratings
saltlakejohn
- Lives in Salt Lake
- Joined 7 years ago
- Last seen 6 years ago
- Profile viewed 2.1K times
- People have watched saltlakejohn videos 0 times
- City: Salt Lake
- Country:
- About Me: Computerist. Retired (thank god). Don't own a watch. Brown over brown, overweight, lapsed Episcopalian, progressive politically. Born and lived as a dog person until I fell in love with a cat and converted for him. I was a rural kid in EastTexas. We had steers and queers. There wasn't any of this pussified "coming out" crap. On Friday night you sucked a boy's cock and on Monday school was out as far as you were concerned.
- Here For: Free Smut. My paid subscriptions are all with BluMedia: BrokeStraightBoys, CollegeBoyPhysicals, et al. Their techie guy treated me well, fixed a download problem for me, and never screamed "Eeuuww. You watch guys cumming on guys?" I'm sure he deserves a very nice girlfriend who puts raisins in his rice pudding.
- Favorite Categories: I always wanted to be a bottom. The reason I'm not is because there are so many lousy tops. All they want is to masturbate using two ass cheeks. They could be plowing a chuck roast for as much attention as they're giving me. I worked with a guy who used his wife's bosoms that way. She was kind of a family-size value-pack lady. So I told him he had latent tendencies.
- Ideal Partner: Oh, man, this is a hard question. Lots of guys click for different reasons. I like intellect and curiosity. Humor is important. Money is not. I don't rank looks at the top. My favorite guys are in the 6 to 8 range. 9s and 10s are insufferable pricks with bad attitudes. Of course, red hair trumps everything else. For a redhead, I turn into a jelly-blob. I'll be your sex pig and you can pimp me on the street, if you're a natural redhead.
- Erogenic Zones: Erogenic? Probably mean Erogenous. Oh, hey, I found it. Erogenic is a 61 point scrabble word. It means erogenous. Nipples. Well, depending on how your partner strums your strings, any part of you can be an erogenous zone. I dated a kid for a while that gave a foot massage that would put your gonads in an uproar.
- Turn Ons: Ice tea, a barbecue pit, and a backyard in the summer. Winter would be a handmade quilt and a stack of movies.
- Turn Offs: 9s, 10s, and blonds. Don't like aggressive fish, Piranhas, for example. The only cute Shark I ever saw was in a revival of "West Side Story."
- hometown: Houston
- Occupation: Idle
- Company: NA
- School: NA
- Interested In: Guys
