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GAY HUMOR: LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT.
As a gay male, no one except myself enjoys being the butt of a joke now and then because if you're not laughing, you're not living. My favorite gay joke of all time: What's the number one pick up line in a gay bar? "Is that stool taken". In the event you have a favorite gay joke, by all means go ahead and make my day. I'll love you for it, and if it makes me laugh, I'll love you forever. I thank you immensely for your submissions.
In a small cathedral a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the minister. The minister asked the janitor, "Could you go into the confessional and listen to confessions for me? I really have to go to the bathroom and the Widow McGee is coming. She tends to go on but never really does anything worthy of serious repentance, so when she's done just give her 10 Hail Mary's and I'll be right back." Being the helpful sort, the janitor agreed. Just as expected the Widow McGee came into the booth and started her confession. "Oh Father, I fear I have done the unforgivable. I have given into carnal thoughts and have had oral sex." Stunned, the janitor had no idea how to handle this situation. Surely 10 Hail Mary's would not do. So, in a moment of desperation the janitor peered his head out of the confessional and asked an altar boy, "Son, what does the minister give for oral sex?" In reply the altar boy said, "Two Snickers bars and a Coke."
Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language. He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating. The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!". The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"
Three friends -- two straight guys and a gay guy -- and their significant others were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and next thing you know, they're standing before St. Peter. First came one of the straight guys and his wife. St. Peter shook his head sadly. "I can't let you in. You loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny." Then came the second straight guy. "Sorry, can't let you in, either. You loved food too much. You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy!" The gay guy turned to his boyfriend and whispered nervously, "It doesn't look good, Dick."
There was this man who walked into a bar and says to the bartender 10 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's the matter?" The man says, "I found out my brother is gay and marrying my best friend." The next day the same man comes in and orders 12 shots of whiskey. The bartenders asks, "What's wrong this time?" The man says, "I found out that my son is gay." The next day the same man comes in the bar and orders 15 shots of whiskey. Then the bartender asks, "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?" The man looks up and says, "Apprently my wife does."
Let's play hide and seek?
- Okay, and if you find me I fuck you ...
And if you do not find me, I'm in the closet.....
...............What is the peak for a Gay?
- It's filming shitting, then move the film backwards....................
.................What do gay guys have in common with bungee jumpers?
Two very young gayboys they discuss about the future, and one asks his friend
"whom you like to be in the future?"
"Fighter pilot"
"fighter pilot? It's so masculine job! And whom you want to be?
" Goalkeeper at football"
"Goalkeeper? That's more masculine job than fighter pilot! Why?"
"Imagine. You play the final Mundial match on the 100.000 stadium. You miss the ball and your team lose.
"And so?"
"So 50.000 men shout FUCK YOUUUU!"