prettyangelboi's Blogs

The trials of being a boy, who is not a boy

prettyangelboi Blog Last Activity 2 years ago 660 views 10 comments
<p>One day I hope to learn why when boys subvert the gender norms that means they are a "sissy" and that they are supposed to like anal intercourse and play with dildos and be submissive and weak. I do not get this disturbing and oppressive stereotype, and why it is still equated with femininity.</p>
<p>Undoubtedly, there is a pervasive undercurrent of misogyny in our culture, and it certainly goes a long way to explaining why so many men (gay men in particular, perhaps as a result of sexual insecurity) tend to be particularly averse to overt expressions of femininity. From a young age, boys are indoctrinated by a myriad of gender roles and expectations, in which they are routinely policed by their peers, and they are taught to suppress any and all attributes of femininity (vulnerability, compassion, sensitivity, beauty, etc.) These superficial conventions, of course, only further entrench the social dominance of men over women, and what it means to be a "real man" as to the exclusion of anything that is characteristically womanly. Have you ever wondered why crossdressing occurs only one way, but not in the reverse? In our culture, masculinity is deemed to be the default whereas femininity, the perversion. The very conception of crossdressing, drag, and trap as being taboo merely reinforces this sexist ideology.</p>
<p>Imagine if we lived in a world where boys could express their gender however they felt comfortable without being stigmatized and ostracized just for being themselves. That is a world that I hope to live in one day.</p>

Comments

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9 years ago

The world needs both more open inclusion and civil norms. I'm all for children transcending gender norms (I was super jealous of my little sister for getting a Barbie house for xmas one year, and played dress up etc. with her extensively and openly as the very gay child I was, lol) but we can't make broad arguments for upending social stigmas without recognizing that culture, civilization itself, really the things that hold us together in community, are the product of that policing; a product of social norms.

I'm not being very articulate, but we all tend to easily focus in on things that we personally don't like or are affected by, without trying to look at the bigger picture.

After all, just because we might someday live in a world where every boy can wear dresses and pink bows, that doesn't mean any more of them would want to than they do now.

9 years ago

In the war between traditional misogny and modern feminist-driven misandry it's safe to say the boys are losing and misandry is ascendant.
misandry
[mis-an-dree]
noun
1.
hatred of males.

prettyangelboi
9 years ago

Thanks for all the feedback and support. I'm glad to know I'm not alone!

darkknightreturns
9 years ago

forget all the macho stereotyping, just be you! enjoy people for what they are, and let yourself express who YOU are, and if some don't like it...find new friends more accepting. I get a little tired of the US military macho attitude and the jock football mentality, that if you're not a jock you aren't a man >>>>>BS

You are a beautiful person...let yourself shine bud!

9 years ago

Yes, a very interesting and relevant thread, one that applies to me insofar as I know I'm a femme, something that I'm quite happy being, but which the great majority of the straight world seems to see as subversive/perverse/perverted/hostile/odd and inexplicable. I agree with all the comments, but I'm not optimistic that I'll see substantial change in my lifetime. But I live in hope. Change will come when women are not seen as secondary to men and, therefore, can't be used as a pejorative when describing a male who is feminine to whatever extent.

Stewartj739
9 years ago

I really like the character of Marty's son Roscoe from House of Lies. You can't really pidgin hole him into any sexual category. Plus he is a super cool young guy and a role model in some ways for youth. As well as perhaps getting parents watching the show to think about how they respond to the sexuality of their own children.

chchsanta
9 years ago

Nicely said. I have often wondered why women who wear pants are not labeled masculine while a guy wearing a dress is feminine. If only both things were just plain "unlabelled".

9 years ago

Gender, both expression and identity, is such a difficult subject for many to comprehend. It is a artificial construct that tangles so many in ways that are so hard to untangle. Wonderful perspective.

Davey1965
9 years ago

Great blog and thanks for your thoughts. ..