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pretending
I was thinking about this today and wondering if anyone else has or is experiencing it. When I was in school I didn't want anyone to know about me so I pretended a lot. By that I mean I went out with girls, fooled around enough so no one would think I was "different" I even had sex with girls a couple of times when with a friend who was having sex with a girl close enough to see what was happening. So I was actually turned on by seing my friends bare ass moving up and down not by the girl under me. On one occasion a friend of mine who I had a secret crush on and I were with the same girl and while i was having sex he was getting a BJ, that was such a turn on to watch. I realize this isn't necessary now in most places but I felt it was when I was younger to play along and keep the secret. Anyone else have to or is pretending like that?
I am not convinced by any definition which is stated by everyday literature or books which anybody can read, they tend to mislead and they oppose a great deal of misunderstanding. I can read this in your description which you wrote in the third sentence "different". What is it ? Recently I was talking to an English speaking Chinese tourist about 'gays'. He told me that he had experienced his first opportunity to leave his country and come to Europe, and in his language there is no such definition for men who make love to men. In other words - there are no gays in China.