's Blogs

One of the requirements of my probation and the thing that help keeps my sane is all of us that made it through rehab meet in a group, kind of like an AA meeting once a month. We are able to be ourselves and talk about our past with people who have been there and know our "demons" first hand.

Anyway last night I was deeply saddened to find out that a friend, who I had been on the street with, indeed we had helped each other survive. Had committed suicide. There were no warning signs, he was one of Cecilia's patients she said he showed no signs. No cries for help. He just opened the arteries in his wrists and bled out on his kitchen floor. Cecilia told me that most often people who want to commit suicide dont talk about it they just do it without warning.

I am really confused and upset and depressed about this. Randy did not have HIV. He was a great looking guy with a lot going for him. Cecilia had helped him get his GED and next year he was going to start junior college. He didnt leave a note. Why would he throw everything away?

I am sorry to write this depressing blog this morning but I cannot share this with anyone at work without revealing my past. I just needed to vent Thanks for listening