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Approaching someone who I don't know is gay?

SmoothSeduction Blog Last Activity 13 years ago 991 views 7 comments
I'm a college student and I see a lot of guys I find very attractive (and girls since I'm bi)on campus but I don't know how to approach the guys to find out if they're gay. I don't know them by name, just see them around campus. I have no problem just coming up and talking to them but I can't just flat out ask if they're gay. Any suggestions? With so much hate in the world I'm afraid they'll attack me or something if I flirt with them. Should I just talk to them and make an educated guess about their sexuality? It's very frustrating. I'm new at this since I just came out not too long ago to my friends. Then, if I do find a boyfriend I'm afraid to come out to my family.It's very depressing since I've never had a relationship and I'm not getting any younger. Thank you for your help, it is much appreciated!

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13 years ago

Get yourself in a situation where you have both had a drink if that is legal in your country... Chat about stuff as young guys do and the rest should follow....take care though it could all go horribly wrong if you dont handle it right..

13 years ago

Hmmm...look !!! I like all the community suggestions cause thy exhibit common sense, we all discuss the basic fact of life. There is always the gap caus everybody is seeking the secrets of life, its like looking for diamonds but in reality you search them in vain.

13 years ago

If your college has a QSA (Queer Straight Alliance) group or an LGBT group, you might want to simply attend a few meetings. Those are not necessarily meetings where you pick up hot dates, but you will be able to meet other guys who are also in the process of coming out, and who can share the difficulties and the successes with each other.

pseudoben
pseudoben
13 years ago

I have a horrible gaydar, so I use to spend a lot of time hitting on strait guys i thought were gay. The easy solution is to just go to places where you know the guys are gay. If you're in a gay bar, and there is a guy dancing shirtless, covered in glitter, singing along to gaga, you know which way he swings.

13 years ago

I was totally in this situation myself but when i came out to everyone things changed overnight. thing is gay guys approached me not for dates especially but to sort of welcome me to a sort of a brotherhood thing. n e ways i soon found a cupple of friends who could then walk in a room and point out the guys they knew were gay. after that plain sailing. simple as. enjoy.

pudintain2011
pudintain2011
13 years ago

Hey buddy. Don't ever just try to come on to some guy. Get to know guys as friends. It is all about friendship. You get to know each other and allow that to just happen naturally as it will. Rely on your intuition and you will be able to feel people out as time goes by. Just relax, be yourself, and be patient.

Another idea. If you go to a university, there are gay groups. Support groups for gay and bi students. Now here's the thing. You may not meet someone that you are interested in one of those meetings. However, by making a few new friends, you will in turn find out about other interesting guys through them. It may happen quickly or it may take a while. But it will happen. I wish you the absolute best. PudinTain

just4today
just4today
13 years ago

That;s tough. But you might try like laughing about something and showing him a pic of some chick and show it to him. Kinda joke around, and say that a guy friend sent you some nudies as a joke, but you deleted them. Might ask for "his advice" and see if he thinks ure friend is gay. Might get the convo going in that direction, and see how they react.